Will I Hate Myself?: A Story About Going For It - Paperback

by Pat Treuer (Author), Colin St John (Editor)

At 36, Pat Treuer walked away from a high-paying corporate job-complete with titles, bonuses, and skyline views-to chase a dream with no roadmap: stand-up comedy. By 42, after launching a million-dollar pandemic-era comedy business and sinking every cent into a heartfelt YouTube series that made zero, he found himself staring at the ruins of reinvention... again.

Will I Hate Myself is a brutally honest, painfully funny memoir about what happens after you risk it all. Told with sharp comedic timing and raw vulnerability, it's a story of chasing purpose, crashing hard, and learning how to rebuild not just a career-but an identity.

This isn't a triumph story. It's a survival story. For anyone who's ever felt stuck in a "successful" life, wondered if they waited too long to begin again, or feared the cost of failure more than failure itself-this book is your mirror and your permission slip.

With behind-the-scenes glimpses into the world of stand-up comedy, reflections on midlife reinvention, and the hard-won lessons of self-acceptance, Will I Hate Myself is both hilarious and healing. It's for the late bloomers, the risk-takers, the overthinkers, and the dreamers trying to rewrite the script-one messy, meaningful page at a time.