The Funniest Things Ever Said, New and Expanded - Paperback

by Steven D. Price (Editor)

Here are1,237 laugh-out-loud quotes, quips, and jokes, all in one packed-to-the-brim volume. Yes, folks, sit back and enjoy this collection of inadvertent gaffes, thigh-slappers, puns, and everything and anything else that'll tickle your funny bone. There's something old, something new, something stolen, and something blue--from favorite comedians, sports and political figures, and literary wits. There are even giggles for the kids and groaners for the grown-ups. Just a few among the 1,237 funniest things ever said:

"I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry."--Rita Rudner

"I don't know if it's good for baseball, but it sure beats the hell out of rooming with Phil Rizzuto."--Yogi Berra on being told that Joe DiMaggio was to marry Marilyn Monroe

"I made my money the old-fashioned way. I was very nice to a wealthy relative right before he died."--Malcolm Forbes

"The Dalai Lama visited the White House and told the President that he could teach him to find a higher state of consciousness. Then, after talking to Bush for a few minutes, he said, 'You know what? Let's just grab lunch.'"--Bill Maher

Back Jacket

A collection of the greatest witticisms from the world of politics, show business, sports, and anywhere else people can get a good laugh Here are a thousand and one laugh-out-loud quotes, quips, and jokes, all in one packed-to-the-brim volume. Yes, folks, sit back and enjoy this collection of inadvertent gaffes, thigh-slappers, puns, and everything and anything else that'll tickle your funny bone. There's something old, something new, something stolen, and something blue--from favorite comedians, sports and political figures, and literary wits. There are even giggles for the kids and groaners for the grown-ups. Just a few among the 1,001 funniest things ever said: "So, where's the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?"--Christina Aguilera "Fame means when your computer modem is broken, the repair guy comes out to your house a little faster." --Sandra Bullock "Recession is when your neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours. And recovery is when Jimmy Carter loses his." --Ronald Reagan

Author Biography

Steven D. Price is the author or editor of more than twenty-three books, including 1001 Dumbest Things Ever Said, The 1001 Smartest Things Ever Said, 1001 Insults, Put-Downs, & Comebacks, and The Quotable Horse Lover (all Lyons), as well as The Ultimate Fishing Guide and Old As the Hills: The Story of Bluegrass Music. A resident of New York City, he is a keen observer of human achievement and folly.